Overview/summary of lesson
Opening question(s)
The Will of God
“Once there was only dark.”
I have had a few experiences in my life where I forced myself to do something I did not want to do because I thought it was important that I go through that particular experience.
In college, I felt I was not in control of my tongue, so I decided to take a vow of silence for a month. And so, I did not speak for an entire month. I messed up once, when a friend, not thinking, asked me a question and I, not thinking, answered. Other than that, though, one month, no speaking. The phone call where my roommate told my parents what was happening was awkward. The interview with my college’s newspaper was odd. At the end of the month, I had not had any epiphanies or special insights. All I truly knew that I did not know at the beginning was that I was in control of my tongue. Unfortunately, that means all the asides, all the wise cracks, all the crap that comes out of my mouth, is entirely intentional. A month of awkward interactions and I got almost nothing out of it.
But… “Once there was only dark.”
I bought a book when I was a youth minister. I tried to find it when I was preparing this, but it was not in the first place I looked and our basement is still mostly a mess right now. I tried to find it to show you, but I would not recommend anyone reading it. The book was the edited journal of a young woman’s struggle to connect to faith after growing up in a house where her father, a church elder, would regularly sexually abuse her. If a guy had written it, the book probably would have been more practical, more “this is what happened when and this is how it still impacts me and this is what you and I can do to be sensitive to and prevent this from happening in the future.” This book… this book was written about and in the course of an on-going emotional and spiritual struggle. There was no detachment. Reading it felt like swallowing glass. I wanted to apologize for the Church, for my gender, for myself and every perversion of what God intended that I inflicted on anyone. It made me feel like dirt. The book did not end in sunny days as much as in a continued commitment by the author to keep struggling.
Because “[o]nce there was only dark.”
“Once there was only dark.” That quote comes from the end of the first season of True Detective. It is the story of two detectives, Rust and Marty, who are trying to untangle a web of dysfunction and corruption that has resulted in an occult-style murder. I do not recommend that you watch it because there is violence and nakedness and a ton of moral ambiguity. Both detectives are not good men, just fallen men trying to do one right thing. Having watch it, I still do not think they so much solve the case as find a culprit. It was a struggle for me to get through and I often was left asking myself why I kept watching the show. And then it came to an end.
“Once there was only dark.”
Throughout the series, you are left with the impression that, if Rust reaches a satisfactory conclusion to the investigation, that he will then kill himself. He simply has nothing else to live for. The case reaches an end and it cuts to the two detectives in a hospital. Marty is trying to convince Rust not to kill himself.
Rust says, “I tell you Marty I been up in that [hospital] room looking out those windows every night here just thinking, it’s just one story. The oldest.”
Marty replies, “What’s that?”
Rust: “Light versus dark.”
Marty: “Well, I know we ain’t in Alaska [and can’t see the sky as clear], but it appears to me that the dark has a lot more territory.
And Rust says, “Yeah, you’re right about that.” Rust then insists that Marty help him leave the hospital and Marty agrees. As they head to the car, Rust makes one final point to his now former partner. He says, “You’re looking at it wrong, the sky thing.”
Marty asks, “How’s that?”
And Rust answers him, “Well, once there was only dark. You ask me, the light’s winning.”
“Once there was only dark… the light’s winning.”
Genesis chapter 1, verse 3, “And God said, ‘Let there be light.’ And there was light.”
John 3:16: Jesus speaking here, he says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Matthew 28:18 to 20: Jesus has died and been raised to life. He says, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
“Once there was only dark. You ask me, the light’s winning.” Maranatha, come quickly Lord Jesus. So let it be. Amen.
Files coming soon.